Whenever you disappoint me, made me cry or I get mad at you I always tell myself, that it will be the last time I will be affected by your ignorance and lack of respect to me. After crying myself out, I drink some water, smile, gather my strength and promise myself, I will never be affected by you again.
But then here I am again. Seeing you desperately in need of help. When you have no money and you need to go to work, I still give you the last penny left for my food. Even when I know that you badly want to go to work because you can’t afford to stay in the same place with me. I let you go out with your friends no matter how many hours it took you, even when I know you are making a fool out of me, that it’s the ‘boys thing’ and a must. Right there, at the edge of the bed, when you are too drunk, you vomit your whole stomach out, I clean up your mess even when I am not supposed to, even when I know that you will not notice this simple act, even when you won’t even thank me for not letting you sleep soaked in your own puke.
For the hundredth time, I will forgive you for lying and constantly doing your mistakes over and over again. I get tired of this sad and sick feeling, but I know, I will never get tired of you. I may ask you again and again that this is how you love me, teach you of how to take care of me, tell you what are the right things to say to me, expect nothing and more painful things, but rest assured that even if you fail in all these, you will still have the best of me. That even when you fall and I don’t have the strength neither anymore, I will still pick you up and help you stand up tall. I have accepted you as you are. Maybe I don’t fall in love with you because of the good things you possess but I am indeed in love with your shortcomings. I love being the source of your strength even when I have nothing left for myself.
whensheslost 